Greetings public!
I am Lieutenant Nukey Alpha Nukem, nuclear field supervisor for the Tempest Command. I will one day be your ruler. I will one day be your caretaker. I will one day be your undoing.
A time will come, when you will be lying flat on your back in the radioactive dust, staring up at me with those wide, frightened eyes, while I laugh madly in your face, eat your sandwich, and then shove the barrel of an M14 against your pathetic human skull.
You will cry, and beg for mercy, but in the end I will spill your blood at the feet of your most beloved family member. Your sandwich will be delicious.
That is all.
-Lt. Nukem, signing off.
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Progress Reports by Nukey 
Nukey, you are fucking awesome.
Mr.Welldone’s got something coming.
83 Why thank you darling.
My pleasure.
Do well. =P
… BUT MY MOTHER MADE ME THAT SANDWHICH 50 YEARS AGO!!!! NO!!!! -mimi’s friend